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how i spend my time

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how i spend my time

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In psych, we have an assignment to track how we spend our time each day for a week. we gotta track in half hour increments, then we write a short paper on why we spend our time doing two activities (can be top two, bottom two, whatever)

im realizing i spend a lot of time by myself, on the internet.

and i guess it goes back to the friends thing.. i have approximately 4 real friends... about 6 or 7 others that i see around occasionally... and i guess i could call people more.. my close friends call me sometimes. lauren used to be really bad about not answering her phone and not calling people back, because EVERYONE always wanted to talk/hang out with her... but thats changed since she/we all lost a large portion of our circle of friends.. which is good and bad in a way.

more on the making new friends thing... i REALLY REALLY want a girlfriend. Im kinda shy sometimes, and really dont know how to approach a girl. they usually come on to me.. but now that im not in high school it seems like its harder to meet people. which seems kinda weird. but i havent had a "girlfriend" since kyrsten (and really, ive never had a girlfriend girlfriend).. i do miss kyrsten..
what happened with her.. she was a compulsive liar. a story teller. she told us (my friends and i) she felt inadequate, like she had to impress us.. I could tell from when i was first meeting her, and i dealt with it, because for the most part i could tell what were stories and what were real. Everyone else figured it out much later, after they caught her a few times.. and so they confronted her about it, told her she had to change.. or else.. or else theyd kick her out of our circle i guess.. which is what they did. I confronted her, too, but i think i was much more lenient. i gave her more time. but she still didnt change. i thought i could tell when she was making something up, but i ended up not being able to believe anything she said! that was hard, and i ended up distancing myself from her.
before that was krista... i really dont know what happened between us. the time between when we were best friends to when i barely ever got to talk to her seems really blurred. i think it was after she stopped smoking pot. .. pot can ruin a lot of friendships sometimes. when youve been friends with someone a while and you start smoking, you start hanging out with different people sometimes, and they see you differently. when you smoke and then become friends with someone who doesnt, sometimes they start... sometimes old friends who were "innocent" want to try it, too. which is wierd. ive popped 5 or 6 peoples "pot cherries".. and turned two girls bi, lol..

back to the girlfriend thing. i dont know how garrett would react if i started dating a girl, too. when we first started dating, he seemed fine with that fact that i was bi. now, he makes fun of bisexuals in general. I think he got jaded when he saw this picture (NSFW)on macrochan. which is totally unfair, cause im bi. lol.. buttt. theres stacey, who ive been friends with for a long time, and i get to see more now cause shes dating cory (whos garretts bff).. lisa told me once stacey was bi-curious, so theres hope, i guess. or theres kyrsten. whom im willing to try to reignite some sort of friendship, possibly. blahhhhhhhh.
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